Lions and Tigers and Bears, Oh My!
Lions and Tigers and Bears, Oh My!
Lions and Tigers and Bears, Oh My!
When we have experienced any type of disaster especially one that is unexpected and it creates physically, mentally or emotionally the sense of being wiped out, the impact can be the same as when Dorothy got blown to Oz. Imagine being dropped into a situation not of your own making where everything and everyone you knew was altered in someway, and the routine of your life was now a tight rope to be walked instead of the safety net you knew. We never realize until something like this happens just how the ordinary things in our lives function as compass points to help us stay the course. When they are no longer accessible we can feel lost in a strange place with no idea about what direction to take and no faith in our ability to deal with what has happened.
I suppose in a way divorce can be considered a type of natural upset these days if not a disaster, but going back to prior comments on relevance I must confess mine felt like it took on disasterous poportions. The details are not necessary, suffice it to say I had no warning of the degree of my ex-husband's deception and no opportunity to decide when would be best to deal with the fallout. I took an emotional and mental blow that took a toll on my health as well and just like Dorothy and her companions becoming more and more anxious regarding what they might encounter in the dark forest; my thinking also began to escalate on its own; imagining the extremes in my situation and making my anxiety all the worse. This kind of mental leaping is not uncommon especially when someone has experienced a big loss that impacts them across many areas of functioning.
Loss of perspective in addition to no faith in one's ability to direct efforts at recovery seemed to be the over riding concerns for myself at the time. Glinda begins to intervene with Dorothy by asking her, "Are you a good witch or a bad witch?" The answer to that self defining question is what gets Dorothy started down the yellow brick road. By asking a similarly defining question, "What would you like to do in regard to this situation," I realized that by making a choice or exploring options for choices I mattered in the process and that I wasn't going to be buffeted by the situation unless of course that is what I wanted. The initial questions asked at the time also gave me a sense that I could impact the direction of my life in regard to them and that I could protect my daughter from a lot of the emotional fallout. These question and answer type sessions early in my work with the therapist helped to slow down my racing thinking by getting me to focus on answers and not imagined possibilities. It kept me in the present where I could exercise my energy effectively and made me feel competent again to reclaim some of what I had lost in terms of myself esteem and a more accurate picture of who I was.
Like Dorothy who was able to see her heart's desire and then exercise her ability to get home, I was able to see accurately, with the help of my thearpist, that finding and enacting my own answers was the shortest route to get back to the me I recognized as my personal home.
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5 comments:
I do agree that we should prepare others to be bold enough to question, if not ask, the tough integrity questions (are you a good witch or a bad witch?). I recall in jobs past, asking questions and being told to stop being defensive. I always laugh when people say that - when I'm not really being defensive because it means they feel challenged in some way - usually in a way I'm not even aware.
I don't mean laughing in someone's face is a good idea, but, sometimes, it's hard not to laugh. That or cry. But I wondered as a child if the reason Dorothy questioned Glenda was because of Glenda's dress. Had Glenda worn a tattered black frock, would Dorothy have had the courage to ask? I thought Glenda was deceptive. What is the real metaphor for the ruby red slippers, anyway?
I totally agree with you that divorce can be thought of as a natural disaster. I remember when my mother and my stepfather got divorced. When my stepfather first married my mother he made her quit her job because he wanted her to be a housewife. He paid all the bills and she took care of the home. After being married 13 years they divorced and her told her that she would have to get a job to support her and her childern. Talk about being dropped in Oz. My mother told him that before they got married he had promised to take care of her for the rest of her life and that he was going to do it even if it killed him. Suffice it to say, that he did take care of her until the day she died. I know that it probably took a toll on her mentally and physically but she did not let it get the best of her. She did tell me, however, to make sure that I worked even if I did get married. She told me not to depend on anyone else because then they have power over you. I took her advice and have worked everyday since.
Divorce is a natural disaster, and not only for the direct parties involved. I too was whirled into Oz about a month due to the tornado of divorce! I mean, I'm suppose to be an adult, however, I secretly cried my eyes out when my mother dropped the news. The process has not begun, but there will be soooo many changes and I feel I need to be supportive for both my parents, because they need to do what's best for them, right?
I think the ruby red slippers were a metaphor for having faith.
This was an interesting little thing I found:
http://www.wizardofozmysteries.com/dorothy%27slessons.htm
There are apparently many different opinions about what the ruby red slippers mean - i really thought they symbolized the transition from girl to womanhood, sexual freedom, and freedom in general. The WoO is rich with symbolic representations of life's transitions. Good thought for a blog theme.
Hey Gradual Student-
Maybe Glinda's sparkly dress and Dorothy's red shoes as symbolic images are as simple as the fact that Kansas, where Dorothy came from, was portrayed as flat, gray, and monotonous and Oz was full of color and light. Look how the cinematography changed -B&W to color -when Dorothy got to OZ. If you go back to the original book the ruby slippers appear in the movie as described thanks to L.Frank Baum's description, but Glinda's costume was primarily Hollywood's vision of Glinda.
As far as intent goes, Baum created a series of stories to entertain an ill, bed ridden child who eventually died:-( I doubt that this mid-western store owner, who failed at business several times, had the where with all to exact a broader consciousness to create loftier commentary than simply good versus bad and that home offers the ultimate contentment. Interesting how within the context of today's societal framework other metaphors can be found.
I still reread the Oz books from time to time and find the same escape I enjoyed as a child. My "little boyfriend" Wallace is a Toto dog-a Cairn Terrier. Wallace is full of loyalty and courage except when he is confronted with winged monkeys and bicycles with picnic baskets attached to them. I think we have seen the movie a little too often:-)
Sorry-I get silly when I am tired.
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